Having said goodbye to my good friend after sharing a late dinner, I realized I had not heard from my sweetheart whose out of town weekend workshop had ended hours before. It had been steadily raining and knowing he was having troubles with his car, I felt concerned. As text and phone calls went unanswered, I became increasingly anxious. My mind began pulling out the ‘catastrophe’ file. One distressing image followed another….. car accidents, hospital scenes, death. As tension arose in my body, I knew I needed to drop into my inquiry/sensing practice learned many years ago.
Bringing attention from my mind down into my body, I sensed a tightness in my throat, heart and belly. As I stayed with these sensations, the tightness began to dissolve, and I became aware of a lively, somewhat prickly kind of energy dancing in my belly. Without naming, judging or interpreting, I recognized what I had called anxiety was simply energy. Focusing my attention on this energy slowly led to its dissolution. Open, spacious presence remained. I checked with my inner guidance, ‘what is going on, is he ok?’ To which I heard, ‘he is safe, no worries’.
The next morning, disturbing scenarios once again appeared in my mind like uninvited guests. Questioning how I might best take care of myself, I decided to go for a run. As I hit my stride on a favorite forestedrain trail, a gentle rain joined newly forming tears softly streaming down my face. Memories of loved ones lost over recent years appeared in rapid succession bringing fear of another potential loss. My body began contracting again. I noticed how my mind was beginning to weave a story…. a story that would surely create more suffering.
Surrounded by the quietude of the pristine forest, my body gradually came to a stop. As the contraction and fear was acknowledged and fully felt, my mind emptied and I became present. In the stillness, I realized that if I had to face yet another loss, I would face ‘what is’ in that moment of truth. In this moment I was present to the beauty of my surroundings, breathing in the cool mountain air and feeling at peace. I heard a familiar ringing in my right ear signaling my inner guidance was speaking to me….. ‘He is OK’.
I arrived home a short time later to hear my phone ringing. A very apologetic sweetheart explained he had traveled to his friend’s remote home the night before which was out of cell phone range. Ahhh… sweet sigh of relief knowing he was OK. Feelings of gratitude washed over me. Since I am relatively new to asking for and receiving inner guidance directly, I felt comforted and supported to have the messages received confirmed as true. This deepened confidence and trust in myself in a new way. More, I am grateful for this brief but powerful lesson on how present moment awareness can transform the suffering generated by an overly imaginative mind.
This article was published in the May, 2016 addition of SIBYL magazine, an online international women’s magazine currently serving 30,000+ women. It is committed to the cultivation of personal growth, health and healing, spiritual awareness, authentic living, global visioning, oneness and truth.
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