Some say there is no more important job than that of parenting a child.
Parenting styles have evolved over time as our understanding has deepened and grown. According to cultural anthropologist Birgitte, “most people don’t think about parenting styles. They just more or less copy their parents’ parenting style or follow the dominant parenting trend in their society.”
In her website, Positive-Parenting-Ally.com, she shares a historical perspective on parenting styles over the past 100 years starting with the Victorian Adult Centered Parenting style that viewed children as objects to be shaped so that they would develop into efficient tools of society supporting the needs of adults in the Industrial Revolution. “Children were kept under strict behavioral and psychological control. Parents were advised to withhold their affection so as to not spoil their children. Mothers were taught to abandon their motherly instinct to bond and nurture their children on an emotional level,” she says.
She goes on to explain that post WW2, the paradigm shifted to a Freudian Child Centered Parenting style largely influenced by Benjamin Spock’s approach “In Baby and Child Care!”. Mothers were now encouraged to trust, not abandon, their own parenting instinct.
In the 1960’s another shift occurred as we began to see a mix of the Victorian father and Freudian mother in parenting. There developed a breakout of parenting styles including what Diana Baumrind, Developmental Psychologist, described as Authoritarian (Victorian), Permissive (Freudian) and Authoritative (combination).
A new parenting style is emerging now in what Birgitte is calling Unconditional Positive Parenting style. Parents who are embracing this style of parenting are are not thinking in terms of the good or bad behavior of their child. They are more interested in what their child’s behavior is reflecting. They see that most challenging behavior is a sign of an unmet need, and they seek to meet that need, be it physical, emotional and existential.
Parents who are adopting this style, see themselves as direct role models for their children’s behavior. They don’t believe in controlling children with strict rules, punishments, praise or bribes. They believe in tuning in to their child, finding solutions that satisfy everybody concerned. Rules are not applied because of social convention, but only when it is perceived they are needed for the child’s safety, sense of security etc. (1) See More
What effects would we see in the next generation of adults in our culture if the prevailing parenting style embraced more presence, understanding and compassionate holding of the child? Would we see a decline in mental illness, addiction, crime? How many of us are now are crying out for this kind of contact? Are we not trying to re-parent those in our society who are harming themselves and others through this lack?
See Birgitte’s website Here .
Some say there is no more important job than that of parenting a child.
Parenting styles have evolved over time as our understanding has deepened and grown. According to cultural anthropologist Birgitte, “most people don’t think about parenting styles. They just more or less copy their parents’ parenting style or follow the dominant parenting trend in their society.”
In her website, Positive-Parenting-Ally.com, she shares a historical perspective on parenting styles over the past 100 years starting with the Victorian Adult Centered Parenting style that viewed children as objects to be shaped so that they would develop into efficient tools of society supporting the needs of adults in the Industrial Revolution. “Children were kept under strict behavioral and psychological control. Parents were advised to withhold their affection so as to not spoil their children. Mothers were taught to abandon their motherly instinct to bond and nurture their children on an emotional level,” she says.
She goes on to explain that post WW2, the paradigm shifted to a Freudian Child Centered Parenting style largely influenced by Benjamin Spock’s approach “In Baby and Child Care!”. Mothers were now encouraged to trust, not abandon, their own parenting instinct.
In the 1960’s another shift occurred as we began to see a mix of the Victorian father and Freudian mother in parenting. There developed a breakout of parenting styles including what Diana Baumrind, Developmental Psychologist, described as Authoritarian (Victorian), Permissive (Freudian) and Authoritative (combination).
A new parenting style is emerging now in what Birgitte is calling Unconditional Positive Parenting style. Parents who are embracing this style of parenting are are not thinking in terms of the good or bad behavior of their child. They are more interested in what their child’s behavior is reflecting. They see that most challenging behavior is a sign of an unmet need, and they seek to meet that need, be it physical, emotional and existential.
Parents who are adopting this style, see themselves as direct role models for their children’s behavior. They don’t believe in controlling children with strict rules, punishments, praise or bribes. They believe in tuning in to their child, finding solutions that satisfy everybody concerned. Rules are not applied because of social convention, but only when it is perceived they are needed for the child’s safety, sense of security etc. (1) See More
What effects would we see in the next generation of adults in our culture if the prevailing parenting style embraced more presence, understanding and compassionate holding of the child? Would we see a decline in mental illness, addiction, crime? How many of us are now are crying out for this kind of contact? Are we not trying to re-parent those in our society who are harming themselves and others through this lack?
See Birgitte’s website Here .
Early Parenting
Early Parenting
Jean Liedloff
Attachment is the deep connection established between a child and caregiver that profoundly affects a child’s development and ability to express emotions and develop relationships throughout their lives. Jean Liedloff studied the Yequana, a tribe in South America, and observed the parenting practice of unbroken connection between mother and babies. It was her assessment that it was this early bonding, this unbroken connection that helped form the contented, happy adults she saw in that tribe. She observed a tribe where conflict was absent and children thrived universally.
She wrote a book about her observations in 1975 called ‘The Continuum Concept’.
Continuum Concept defined
According to Jean Liedloff, the continuum concept is the idea that in order to achieve optimal physical, mental and emotional development, human beings — especially babies — require the kind of experience to which our species adapted during the long process of our evolution.
Interview with Jean Liedloff
“is the best summary of The Continuum Concept you will find anywhere. Each human being is born with millions of years of intelligence. We are that continuum which is designed to conform to our elder’s expectations. What if their expectations are wrong? That vast intelligence is denied, warped, and repressed harming generation after generation. Jean’s passion was to awaken in each of us and align with our true nature”
Written interview with Jean
“……….her rare and unexpected find: the Yequana, an indigenous people still living in the Stone Age. By her fourth prolonged stay with them she began to notice something profoundly different about their children. They were intrinsically happy and developmentally sound, and furthermore, they enjoyed non-adversarial relationships with parents, siblings and peers alike
Jean Liedloff
Attachment is the deep connection established between a child and caregiver that profoundly affects a child’s development and ability to express emotions and develop relationships throughout their lives. Jean Liedloff studied the Yequana, a tribe in South America, and observed the parenting practice of unbroken connection between mother and babies. It was her assessment that it was this early bonding, this unbroken connection that helped form the contented, happy adults she saw in that tribe. She observed a tribe where conflict was absent and children thrived universally.
She wrote a book about her observations in 1975 called ‘The Continuum Concept’.
Continuum Concept defined
According to Jean Liedloff, the continuum concept is the idea that in order to achieve optimal physical, mental and emotional development, human beings — especially babies — require the kind of experience to which our species adapted during the long process of our evolution.
Interview with Jean Liedloff
“is the best summary of The Continuum Concept you will find anywhere. Each human being is born with millions of years of intelligence. We are that continuum which is designed to conform to our elder’s expectations. What if their expectations are wrong? That vast intelligence is denied, warped, and repressed harming generation after generation. Jean’s passion was to awaken in each of us and align with our true nature”
Written interview with Jean
“……….her rare and unexpected find: the Yequana, an indigenous people still living in the Stone Age. By her fourth prolonged stay with them she began to notice something profoundly different about their children. They were intrinsically happy and developmentally sound, and furthermore, they enjoyed non-adversarial relationships with parents, siblings and peers alike
Middle Years
Middle Years
The Natural Child Project
Our vision is a world in which all children are treated with dignity, respect, understanding, and compassion. In such a world, every child can grow into adulthood with a generous capacity for love and trust. Our society has no more urgent task.
Enabling
How Our Choices & Fears Can Hold Others Back- The term enabling can be defined in two ways. In a positive sense, enabling someone would essentially be allowing them or empowering them to do something they wish to do which can help them find joy or expand and grow in life. In a more negative sense, it can be described as continually allowing another to engage in problematic behavior or dysfunctional behavior.
The Natural Child Project
Our vision is a world in which all children are treated with dignity, respect, understanding, and compassion. In such a world, every child can grow into adulthood with a generous capacity for love and trust. Our society has no more urgent task.
Enabling
How Our Choices & Fears Can Hold Others Back- The term enabling can be defined in two ways. In a positive sense, enabling someone would essentially be allowing them or empowering them to do something they wish to do which can help them find joy or expand and grow in life. In a more negative sense, it can be described as continually allowing another to engage in problematic behavior or dysfunctional behavior.
Can your Parenting Style Impact Your Well Being?
According to researchers at the University of Mary Washington in Virginia, women who engage in “intensive parenting” are likely to experience negative mental health outcomes like stress and depression
Can your Parenting Style Impact Your Well Being?
According to researchers at the University of Mary Washington in Virginia, women who engage in “intensive parenting” are likely to experience negative mental health outcomes like stress and depression
Addressing the Issues
Addressing the Issues
Young Minds
The Voice of Young People’s Mental Health and Well Being
The vision of Young Minds include a society which is active in building the emotional resilience of children and young people, and which responds caringly and effectively when necessary so that we create emotionally strong, healthy, contributing and independent adults, families and communities.
Young Minds
The Voice of Young People’s Mental Health and Well Being
The vision of Young Minds include a society which is active in building the emotional resilience of children and young people, and which responds caringly and effectively when necessary so that we create emotionally strong, healthy, contributing and independent adults, families and communities.